How Nathan became Natalie Ch. 06
Jennifer and I have been married for six months and everything was going great for the most part. Our jobs were going well. I was working as a PR rep for a large national company and Jennifer was working in marketing for a different large company with business all over the globe. We loved living in the Atlanta area minus the traffic. We lived just north of the actual city but it was so much faster paced and so much more things to do than where we grew up at. You could see and do and find almost anything in the area. We discovered the Fox Theater and bought season tickets to their Broadway series and we were looking forward to seeing Phantom of the Opera in January. Our house was in a very nice neighborhood and while we met a few of our neighbors we did not get to know them very well over the summer. Was nothing personal but everyone was just too busy with jobs and family to be that social. We did chat with them when we saw them outside and everything but we did not get close to any that we would call good friends. Honestly I think most of the wives felt threatened by Jennifer and the looks their husbands gave her.
One time I teased Jennifer about how the men ogled her and she laughed, “Me? Do you see the way Nancy looks at you? I think she likes the pretty boy type. I also saw Frank checking you out one day when you were cutting the grass. I think he may be in the closet.”
Everything was going great, we never argued, our sex life was wonderful and just like on our honeymoon, and Jennifer controlled that. When she wanted sex we had sex. She would initiate it all the time and then times I tried to she would tell me she was not in the mood and then ten minutes later she would “seduce” me. I knew after several times of that happening when I tried to initiate the sex she wanted to but she feigned she was not in the mood because she liked to be in control. She even had me remove the hair from my body telling me she found it sexy when I did so before.
She controlled almost everything around the house, not that I complained at all. It was just the way it was and I was happy to let her. She controlled the money and paid the bills, we had a joint savings and checking account but also our own personal accounts that Jennifer would allocate equal amounts of money into monthly. She was not trying to hide anything from me and would show me the balance or let me check it online if I wanted to but I never did. I trusted her completely. We both made very good money and enough to set aside in savings and even for what she called a “fun account”, which was for vacations or just to buy frivolous things.
Jennifer controlled the decor of our new house, the landscape layout, all of it. I was not lazy and did the yard work and was her “helper” when she needed me to be. She even suggested we join the local country club; which we did. Neither of us played golf but Jennifer enjoyed the tennis courts and the gym they had there. It was more a social activity and a place for us to get all dressed up and eat dinner at once a week.
The one thing I found lacking was my desire to be Natalie. I craved to be her a great deal, craved to dress up in the female clothes I stashed in two suitcases I hid in the attic, to be so pretty and feminine looking for a man to fuck me and use me or even for Jennifer to fuck me. I refrained from my desire to be Natalie and it was sometimes a struggle but I did it out of love for my wife.
It was early October and the weather was getting colder and I came home after having to go into work on a Saturday for half the day due to one of the department heads making a huge error that caused a scandal and the company needed a press release for the stockholders and the public. All smiles and feeling horny I walked into the house from the garage.
“Jennifer, I’m home.” I called out.
“In here…the bedroom.” I heard her say but there was something wrong in her voice.
I walked into the bedroom and saw my wife sitting on the bed still wearing her pajamas. That was so unlike her. She normally got up and took a shower and was dressed for the day before ten in the morning. I then looked closer and her eyes were red and watery and puffy like she had been crying. My first reaction was someone died, maybe her father or mother or one of my parents. Her delicate, perfect hands were balled up in a fist resting on her knees.
I went to sit next to her but she moved away from me as I sat down. As I went to put my arm around her she flinched and moved even further away.
“What…baby, what’s wrong?” I asked in a scared voice.
She turned to me and sniffled. “How long? Just tell me how long have you been doing it?” Her voice held a hint of anger.
“How long what? Doing what?” I asked.
“Don’t Nathan. Remember when we were kids and we made a pact that we would never keep secrets?” I nodded and she continued, “Seems we have lied to one another and kept secrets and…and I can’t do it anymore. I tried, baby, I tired so any yalova escort times to tell you and to get you to tell me. I did…on our honeymoon remember? After that I tried and I hinted but you did not tell me so I never told you.” She started crying again. “I can’t do it anymore. The guilt is eating me alive. All day I thought about how to confront you and tell you.”
“Tell me what? What…what’s going on, Jennifer. You…you are scaring me.”
She ignored me and continued as she cried. “All morning I thought how I tell the man I love so dearly that I know and…and other things…other secrets we kept form one another. I really did, baby. And…and then I went into the attic to get our winter coats out…and…and I found them.”
My heart felt like it stopped. I now knew what she was talking about and what she found. “Jennifer…please…I…I can explain.” I begged.
She looked at me and opened her fist and in her right hand she held a pair of black lacey panties. I knew they were not hers; I knew because they were mine.
“How much longer were you going to hide it?” She almost screamed and threw the panties on the floor.
Divorce flashed in my head. All I could do now was beg her not to think less of me, to beg her to forgive me for cheating on her, and tell her everything and hope she would not leave me.
“Jennifer, baby, please…I…I have not since we have been married. I swear…please…I am sorry…it was just a phase…you know exploring like you did with Denise.” I begged. I did not know how much she knew so that was as far as I was going to tell her.
“A phase? I told you about Denise. Were you ever going to tell me about Kevin? Oh don’t looks so fucking shocked. Of course I knew. I knew all along, N-A-T-A-L-I-E.”
I gave a loud moaning whine of despair and was about to try and defend my actions or at least explain them somehow. Jennifer put her hand over my mouth and took a deep breath to calm herself.
“Don’t talk. Don’t say a word until I finish.” She told me and I nodded. “It was not that you had sex with Kevin. I did not care and I don’t care.” She started calmly. “It was not like you enjoyed dressing up as a girl for him and for other men I am sure. It was…you kept it a secret after I told you about Denise. I gave you so many chances to tell me and you never did. You just lied about it.”
She removed her hand from my mouth and when I was going to say something she shook her head and I kept quiet. “I love you, Nathan. God I love you so much. People used to ask me…my father…hell even you own father…why do you date him? He is such a sissy and so feminine and you can do so much better. I heard that ever since I was thirteen. But I told them I loved you. How else could I explain it? I told them that you are my soulmate and regardless of anything that may happen or we may do or even if we were separated by the entire world you would always be my soulmate and the man I would marry. I…”
Jennifer gave a little sob of emotion and choked up and I felt so guilty, so terrible, so much like an evil person for what I did and my desires after what she just told me.
She took another deep breath before continuing. “I cannot bear the thought of you not in my life or spending my life without you, baby. I just can’t. We are so codependent on one another and it may be so unhealthy for a relationship for us to need each other so much, but I don’t care. It’s how we are.”
I nodded and felt the exact same way. Jennifer gave me a half smile, “Don’t worry we are not getting divorced. We could not live without each other in our lives. I am not angry at the fact you dressed up as a girl for Kevin or that you sucked his dick or that he fucked you. I have not right to be, trust me. I am upset you kept it a secret.” She smiled again, “At least it makes me feel better about the secrets I kept from you I have been feeling so guilty about.”
“What…what secrets?” I asked. I was relived she was not going to leave me.
“No, you don’t get to know them now…not yet. If you would have told me about that,” she pointed to the panties on the floor, “I would have told you my secrets. I will one day but not now. You don’t deserve to know all of them now. I will give you one secret however.” She smiled at me and I knew by that smile she was not going to tell me a secret out of honesty and love for me but out of revenge or spite. Jennifer was not a cruel or spiteful person but right now she had a right to be.
“Ask me how I knew about you and Kevin.” She said.
I swallowed hard, “How…how did you know about me and Kevin?”
Jennifer grinned, “He told me one night after he fucked my brains out. I was really surprised you did not know I was not a virgin on our honeymoon.”
I was stunned. I knew my mouth was hung open but I could not seem to close it as I looked at my lovely wife smiling at me. I felt so many emotions; fear, anger she edirne escort never told me, so many more I could not even think in my confused state. One thing I did not feel and I felt that odd was jealousy. For some reason was not jealous my one time dorm mate, my male lover who I pretended to be a girl for was fucking my girlfriend who was now my wife; then I realized Jennifer was the mystery girl Kevin was seeing. It took a moment but then it also hit me the things he told me about the “mystery girl”; the thing he did to her, she did to him, how she liked to be treated, and even the things she told him about her past.
I finally closed my mouth and found my speech again. “He…he told me things…about you. Things…well things about sex with you and about…about things you told him about your past.”
Jennifer frowned, “No…I told you that you don’t get to know or understand those things about me right now. I would have told you if you would have told me about you and him when I told you about me and Denise or even later when I gave you every chance to.” She grinned again, “By the way, he fucked me and Denise at the same time one night. I talked her into it.”
“I…I…how…why…when…I don’t know what to say.” I admitted.
Jennifer leaned in and kissed me gently on the lips and pulled back and took my hand in hers. “I owe you a little explanation I suppose. All my life I have been pampered and people have treated me like a doll, a fairy princess that would break if they upset me or said anything unkind to me or hurt me in anyway. You do and always did, my parents, your parents, your sister, all my friends, everyone. I know I am beautiful, Nathan. I am not stupid. I see myself in the mirror every day. You know me better than anyone…”
“I thought I did.” I interrupted and she gave my hand a gentle squeeze.
“Hush and let me finish. You know my looks don’t make me stuck up or conceded even if I have the right to be. You know how I have always controlled and sometimes manipulated people because of my looks. I mean let’s be honest with one another like we used to be.” I flinched a little at her jab about honesty. “You take a hundred of the prettiest girls you and your friend know and put them in a room and then you bring me into that room and I will be the most beautiful girl in that room hands down.” I nodded and could not help but agree.
Jennifer took a deep breath, “But I never thought I was ever above anyone else. Not once in my life. Denise is my best friend and she is cute but nothing compared to me and I never thought I was better than her or prettier than her even though I know I am. It gets annoying after so many years. At times I wanted to scream for someone to call me ugly or insult me or my looks but they never did. Then I discovered something about myself on my eighteenth birthday. I met a guy through a friend on the softball team and we went to buy some weed. I never smoked it and she did all the time and I wanted to try it. So we went to her dealer. He was a twenty-three large black man…I mean total gangster type. I was a little scared. Anyway I tried to use my looks to get the price down but he was not having it. The first time in my life a guy ignored my looks. I became immediately attracted to him for that reason alone. He was not all that nice looking and had a large scar on his cheek but he did have a nice body. Anyway as he gave Stephanie the weed and I payed him, he took my hand and pulled me to him and told me if I ever wanted to know what black dick was like to get in touch. No one ever talked to me like that and it excited me.”
As I listened to Jennifer’s story, much to my shame I became aroused knowing what was coming next.
“I did and he took me to a motel, even made me pay for it. It was a cheap dirty motel. And he fucked me. Took my virginity and when I told him he was hurting me with his large cock…and I was large, baby, bigger then Kevin’s and I know you know what his was like. Anyway he did not care and just kept pushing it into me and I even cried at first. But as he fucked me it stated to feel so good. He fucked me that first time for a long time and I came two times before he did. But it was more than that. It was the way he treated me that turned me on so much. He did not treat me like a doll or princess or sweet and kind and nice, he treated me like a cheap whore. He even called me his white slut many times. He made me suck his cock until I chocked on it, he fucked me four times before he was finished with me and even when I told him I was too sore he did not care, he fucked me again. After he was done he left me naked and wore out in the bed and told me he would call me when he needed a white whore to fuck.”
I was amazed and stunned by my wife’s confession and did not know what to say. I shifted my body so she would not catch sight of my erection and think I was an awful person to be aroused by what she was telling me.
“I met erzurum escort him often that summer before we went to college and he even fucked my ass on more than one occasion. Oh it hurt…hurt bad the first few times but he did not care when I begged him to stop. But soon I started to enjoy it…enjoy it a lot.” She smiled at me, “I am sure you know how great it can feel. But my point, besides to be spiteful, which I am doing I admit, is that it was the way he and Kevin treated me that aroused me so much. It was just so great and a huge turn on to be treated like that when my whole life I was treated with kid gloves.” She smiled again, “I also found out I have a fetish for strong black men.” She actually giggled at that.
“Was…were they the only two?” I asked.
“No…not fair. I told you more of my secrets than you deserve after you lied to me.”
I was confused by her logic but in a small way it made sense I guess. If I would have told her just about dressing as Natalie and being Kevin’s sissy girl she would have told me everything.
“Have…have you been with anyone since we have been married?” I dared to ask.
“No…that I promise you just as you promised me you have not dressed as a girl and been with a guy since we have been married. Which I believe you but I need you to tell me everything and be honest. I know about Kevin but were there anymore men or women? God please no other girls that I don’t think I could handle right now.” She whispered the last part more to herself.
“No. You are the only girl I have even ever kissed. But yes there were others.”
I told Jennifer everything and I mean everything including playing house all last summer as James’s trophy wife. When I was done she looked at me and slapped my shoulder hard and in anger.
“Over the internet!” She screamed at me. “You…that…you could have met some nut job and he could have killed you!” She yelled with a great deal of concern in her voice. “Don’t ever be that stupid again! I could not live if anything happened to you!”
I could not help but chuckle at her but also felt a lot of love for her and her concern touched me.
“So…so what now. Do we…do I need to go to a hotel and well…are we over?” I asked frightened by the answer.
“Don’t be silly, dear husband. I already told you that you are my soulmate and I love you. I am not going to leave you. I forgive you for keeping Kevin a secret and all the rest. It’s up to you now. I will understand if you want to leave me.”
“I…I don’t want to. I love you and I would never leave you.” She smiled at my answer. “But…what now? Do we just go on like nothing happened and everything be the same?”
Jennifer shook her head, “Remember what I told you on our honeymoon about sharing our desires?” I nodded, “Well I am going to share one of mine. One I was hoping would have come to light much sooner but someone was a bad boy and did not tell me.” She smiled at her jab but it was a kind smile.
“What? I will do anything I promise.” I assured her and in my guilt and desire to keep my wife I would have even if that included her telling me she was going to go out that night and get fucked by some random black stud.
“You know as an only child I always wanted a sister.” She giggled. “Well maybe stepsister because I would want to fuck her. If I did have one I would want her name to be Natalie.”
Once again she stunned me but this time I smiled, “Really? You want me to?”
“I really do…and…well…I was turned on about when you told me about James and how you were Natalie for him all the time. That was hot.” She blushed.
“Jennifer I have wanted to dress as Natalie for you for a long time. I…well my makeup sucks but I can do everything else so well and even been told I was very passable and can go into public as Natalie and no one would know.”
Jennifer grinned, “We will see how pretty you look…which I am sure you will cause you are already pretty and feminine as a boy. And I can help with the makeup. Remember my first job at sixteen was working the Clinique counter at Macy’s.”
“Will you show me?”
Jennifer kissed me on the lips, “Of course, baby. I got those suit cases down with all your clothes in them. Pick something sexy but not trashy and definitely don’t wear those panties,” She pointed to the panties on the floor. “God they are so white trash. And take a shower first and make sure you are clean shaven…all over. Use the guest bath since I am going to shower in our bathroom.”
I giggled and actually rushed out of the room and into the guest bathroom. The first thing I did after I removed my clothes was to make sure my body was not only hairless but smooth with no stubble anywhere including my face. Everything seemed nice and smooth except. Once Jennifer had asked…well told me…to go back to being hairless for her I made sure I was nice and smooth everywhere on a daily basis. Then my eyes went wide when I saw on top of the counter for the sink a package and it was one of those disposable enemas I used almost daily when I was dressing as Natalie to make sure my ass was very clean and hygienic for my male lovers. I started to wonder if the idea of me being Natalie for my wife was not as spontaneous as she led me to believe. I used it of course.
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